LIKE NO OTHER GOODBYE

UNEDITED SAMPLE LITERARY ARTICLE
By Ma Josephine Estonilo Inocencio


I was there. I was hiding, keeping my mouth shut. I tried to run. I tried to break away but my body froze. I tried to scream but no words dare to come out. That was until I heard a boisterous crash.

I love you. You gave me everything I want. You love to take me anywhere. We both love to wander in the park and gobble up food. We share common hobbies and we are really fond of each other. I am very jovial whenever I am with you. I feel satisfied by the time you would clasp my hand and we would walk concurrently. I really love you but I am missing you. Your existence, your entirety is what I am seeking now and I guess, always.

I did not have the chance to express my gratitude to you for all the things you had done to me. I did not have the opportunity to hold you close to me and kiss you for the very last time. I did not have the chance to tell you how much you mean to me, how you made a big influence to me. You made me a better person, a much, much better grown-up lady. I did not have the chance to tell you how much I love you.

I cried all the tears inside me when you left. I condemn myself on not telling or even making you feel that you are priceless to me. I kept it all inside. I cannot hold back the tears now. I feel strayed and bare. I can feel that my heart is nowhere to be found. I can feel that rapid despair of sentiment that reminded me of how this great person once entered my life.

I lost my very, very dear grandfather.

You guided me as I grow up. You taught me everything I must be knowledgeable about. You trained me how to comply with others if I want them to respect me. You taught me how to give and share to others what I have. You educated me how to read and write my name. I still can remember how serene you are when you did not even rebuke me when I have tantrums and I do not want to write. You told me that everything in this world is not permanent, so I should not waste time.

Because of you, I became a strong person. I learned how to defend myself in a way that there is no one physically hurt. I learned how to be responsible of all the things that are given to me. I learned how to be a hardworking and devoted individual. I learned how to lead. I learned how to be a self-regulating person.

Because of you, I learned how to suppress my guts to cry with a smile. I learned how to weigh up things, even a harsh situation. Though, at first, all of these are arduous for me. At times, I end up crying but as you have said, I have to get rid of all the tears once and stand up again for a new struggle.

When you left, there are countless questions in my mind. Why did you have to go without even telling me? How about me? How will I be confident with the things I will do if you are not here to encourage me? How about the promise we made that we would not leave each other no matter what happen? Why did you have to leave me? When will you come back? These are the questions that keep on rolling in my mind. But no matter how hard I try to find the answers, I guess fate would not tolerate me.

It has been six years since you left me. Six years of waiting until you come back. But the memories we had together are still unmarked. It is like you are still here. I hope that you are happy wherever you are.

Tatay, your presence is still in my heart. I will keep in my mind your lessons and everything that you taught me for eternity. I know you want all the best in me. I will give my very best in everything that I do because I want you to be proud of me. As you always say to your associates, “Oh, yes! She is my apo.”

I look forward to the day you will be here for the second time. I miss you and I adore you, Tatay.