THE ART OF LETTING GO

UNEDITED SAMPLE LITERARY ARTICLE
By Clarisse Anne Changco Dacanay
IV-Michael Faraday


I have always loved him. Never was a single day that I did not think of him. I wished to be by his side with our hands intertwined. I yearned to feel the gentle caress of his hand to my cheeks and the deep faint of pink that fills them when he does so. I wanted to be with him and it made me anxious not seeing him or even touching him. I had hoped that by some miracle, God would permit that he reciprocates the feelings that I had for him. But sadly, God did not favor this instead he gave him another person to love and to show the feelings that I had for him to another.

At first, I was irate with the fact that the girl was totally into him and, well, so was he. He has shown fondness to the girl more than he has shown with me. How I longed to feel that affection of his, and how I wished that I could be in that girl’s shoes. I desperately wanted to take the place of the girl and show him how deep my love for him was.

There was a time when we met at a gathering and I felt sick inside seeing him but not being able to talk to him or even be near him. I was scared. But what was I scared of? I was scared of rejection. I was scared that maybe he might not welcome me and he might feel that awkwardness between the two of us. I was right with my presumption. He did feel awkward when I tried to get near him so I moved back, not wanting to cause him more irritation. But by the end of the gathering, he suddenly walked up to me and he greeted me. My heart melted and I was so glad that I smiled cheerfully and greeted him back. One of our friends saw this and encouraged him to talk to me more. I was so happy because in my mind, I thought that maybe I still had a fighting chance of winning him back. We communicated after the gathering and I was pleased to know that he has shown a hint of liking for me.

But of course, when fate decides to play with you, expect to fall hard. I learned that in a span of two days, he realized that our feelings were not as deep as he thought. He said that it was mere infatuation and that he never really did feel a more passionate feeling toward me. I was so pissed with this ridiculous idea that I began to feel hatred toward him. I felt mad and indignant all at the same time. I just could not accept the fact that the person I loved the most loved someone else, someone whom I think does not deserve one bit of his love. It was too upsetting to even think about it. So I allowed myself to feel bitterness towards the girl. I loathed her.

I have already despised her right from the beginning but my annoyance towards the girl grew stronger and stronger ever since I received an invite from her in Yahoo! Messenger, Friendster and Multiply. I was especially irritated with her when she posted a blog about a girl whom she was really annoyed at. She did not mention any name but I was smart enough to know that I was the one she was talking about. I got really mad at her because she did not have any right to write anything in her blog about me since I did not do anything to her. How dare she call me all those stupid names and insult me in public. She had no right to do such things to me. For Pete’s sake! She does not even know me personally. She only knows me by name. I was really furious with the girl, but I knew that I had to be calm. I knew that I should not let my anger get in the way. I knew better than to stoop as low as she did.

Now, I realized that I do not care about the girl or the person that I love anymore. I was smart enough to know when to stop acting childish and stupid unlike other people. I learned to let go of the person that I love and just accept what reality has to offer. I learned to let go of all the bitterness inside of me, knowing that this will not help me in any way. I learned to let go of all the anger that was building up inside me for silly reasons. But most importantly, I learned to let go when I knew that the feeling that I had felt was no longer love but despair and mere silliness and stupidity. Finally, I can say that I have learned to let go of everything related to the person that I once loved and the girl he loved.