LIGHTS CAMERA ACTION

UNEDITED SAMPLE LITERARY ARTICLE
By Karenina Isabel Apilado Lampa
IV-Michael Faraday


I felt tears slowly escape from my eyes, and I wiped it away hurriedly before I turned around to look at him. This is it. The final moment of pretending before I can fully weep.

I took a deep breath and put on my best smile. My final act. Lights...Camera...Action.


He was my best friend ever since we had been kids. We knew each other well, and there was no other word for it. During my darkest hours, he was there for me. And during the times wherein he was at his worst, I had been there for him. We had the perfect friendship. Yes, we did. That part, however, was the saddest part of all.

“There’s this girl who sits next to me at Geometry...” He had told me during lunch one day, as we were eating together at our usual spot. I nodded absent-mindedly, taking a bite out of my sandwich.

“Let me guess. She totally ignores you.”

“Quite the opposite actually. She talks to me.”

I felt myself go stiff for a moment, before coughing and then looking at him. Well, that was something new.

As we grew up, I knew I felt something more than friendship towards him. But whenever he would casually pull me by my hand towards our favorite ice cream parlor, I would smile and shake my head. It was all but love towards a brother, probably. Well, that was what I wanted to think. But deep down, inevitably, I knew the truth. I just did not want to admit it. Even to myself.

“Guess what?” He asked me excitedly one day as we were walking home from school. I tuned down my iPod and stared at him to show that I was paying attention. I smiled at him.

“She offered to be my partner in that Social Studies project!”

I felt my smile waver but I immediately stopped it. I bit my lip and smiled at him again.

“That’s great!”

“Listen. I know we’re always partners for that project, but maybe you would not mind a bit of change this year?”

I shook my head and turned away. There was no need to get all worked up. It was a project. Nothing else.

“No. I don’t mind.”

With time, I knew I had to stop hiding from the truth. It was during our second year in high school that I admitted that I harbored feelings for him that were much deeper than friendship. It was hard to keep it that way, knowing that somehow, I wanted him to feel just the same. But I knew...right from the start. That would never have happened, no matter how much I wanted it to.

“We’re hanging out at the mall later. Good thing we’re having an early dismissal.” He told me as I was gathering my things from my chair. I looked away. I was in no mood to pretend right now.

“That’s nice.”

“Wanna come?” he asked.

“No thanks. You guys enjoy.” I would have said yes, only I did not want to be the third wheel. What? I would come and end up seeing him looking at her? Get real.

Since then, my life transformed into a massive stage wherein I was the leading character. I learned to manipulate what I felt around him, and I learned to look indifferent whenever things happened. Suddenly, I found myself acting, complete with the costume and the props. And no matter how much I did not want it, I knew it was the only way. It was the only way to keep him.

“I invited her to the prom.” He informed me as I was arranging books in the library. I threw him an annoyed look at flicked my eyes over to the ‘Be Quiet’ sign.

“Fine. I was just wondering who’s taking you. Maybe then we could share a table.” He mumbled. I grabbed a few more books and put on the most innocent face I could muster.

“Actually, I don’t think I’m going. But you enjoy.”

“Why?”

I never answered. He did not need to know that it was because it would kill me to see her dance with him.

And not once, did the thought of ever telling him cross my mind. The truth was that I treasured our friendship too much, and ever risking it was just too painful to think about. It did not matter if he would fall for someone else. As long as I was still his best friend, then all was well. As long as I could keep my act up, then maybe, I could stand the pain.

“Hey...” He caught up with me as I was about to leave the gates of our school. I looked up at him and put on my charade for what felt like the millionth time. It got easier, but that did not mean I felt any better.

“Hey. It’s been a long time since we actually spent time with each other.” I told him as he walked beside me. He looked at me apologetically.

“I’m sorry about that.”

“No worries.”

“I just needed your advice on something.”

“Then shoot.”

He fiddled with his fingers for a little bit and I turned to him. Suddenly, he stopped walking. I stopped too.

“She told me she loves me.”

My world came crumbling down.

At the moment, I felt like I wanted to hit myself. I let myself get in way too deep. I was stupid to not get over him when I had the chance. I was stupid to keep on acting for the camera. I was stupid to enjoy the audience too much that I had not realized that my performance was too real...too perfect. And last but not the least; I was stupid to fall for my best friend. For the one guy I could never, and would never end up with.

I felt tears slowly escape from my eyes, and I wiped it away hurriedly before I turned around to look at him. This is it. The final moment of pretending before I can fully weep.

I took a deep breath and put on my best smile. My final act. Lights...Camera...Action.

“Th-that’s great...I can’t be happier for both of you...”