I AM ALL RIGHT

UNEDITED SAMPLE LITERARY ARTICLE
By Francesca Gabrielle Rodriguez Trinidad
IV-Albert Einstein


Smile. Smile, I tell myself. Breeaathe. Breeaathe. Smile. And pretend everything is great. Pretend...

I have this skill, you know. Perhaps one of my most precious defense mechanisms: To make people believe that things are fine and dandy and oh-so-swell. Well, yeah, I am the optimistic and perky type but even in my most down days I find myself still capable of being extra bubbly, putting up this facade that even I tend to be fooled and convinced. I smile a genuine smile, and laugh the way I always do - unguarded and loud. Like, ok, I have no troubles. I am good at it. It is not that I am fake. It is just that I do not want to be a vacuum. The type that sort of sucks people into a black hole without a moment's notice. I do not want to be the person to bring rain clouds on a leash and "share" it with others. I am not built that way. I was taught to be strong, to hold my head up high, to shed a tear, and say "tomorrow will be better". Yes, tomorrow WILL be better but how about today?

My closest friends know I am no tough cookie or an emotionless freak. I break down. I cry. I lose hope. I fall. But maybe it is not my part to play - the drama queen or superhero or all-around-"it"-girl-who-the-world-cries-for - maybe I have bagged the role of sidekick. You know, the one who will slap your tear-stained face and give you a wake-up call with a complimentary reality check. I am like that. I would rather be like that. I chose to be like that. I want to be the one who will make people feel better or even reconsider their situation. Often forgetting me. Because it is better. I tend to forget my failures, my disappointments, my frustrations, which is better - way better.

Call me escapist. Call me coward. That is the way I am. I think I am brave that way. I think I am stronger that way. But you know what? It feels good to know that there is one less "sad" person for now.

Smile to self. Smile to self. My constant reminder. Maybe if I smiled enough, it will all just simply slide. I wish.

I am good. I am all right. I am. I really am. Because if I believed enough then maybe it will happen.

I know. I live in a world where everyone has a role with their great elaborate scripts. But maybe this time, even for a while, I am throwing in my manuscripts and demanding a break from the director, whoever he may be.

I wipe the smile off my face and heave a sigh. Silence can be most comforting.