A MASK OF CONTENTMENT

UNEDITED SAMPLE LITERARY ARTICLE
By Samantha Grace Ignacio Cruz
II-Robert Hooke


To mask out one's fears is a great feat. To wear the mask proudly, and to conceal all things real inside, is a horrific thing to do. Once a person takes the mask that was vigilantly carved for himself, who knows when it will ever fall and show his true face again?

My mask has always been that of happiness. When people see me, they see me in high spirits. They think I go through life with not a care in the world and untroubled. Yeah right, like things are ever like that for me. What does it take for true happiness? How do other people seem to have it so naturally? Because when people see me satisfied, that is not my true face. It is only the mask I wear to liberate the pain inside the chambers of my heart.

I envy the people who are truly and genuinely happy. It is true that I have worn this mask for such a ling time now, that one might think I have learned to make it become a part of me. But no, it is still another being apart from mine. It is still unknown and strange to me. It is hard. It is hard not to show the torment I feel inside. I know that if I do so things will only grow so much worse. Not only for me but for the people I love.

I learn to be strong in everyday. It is what keeps me holding on, the force that helps me pick up that mask and cover me completely, letting others believe that it is me. It hurts to keep this wretched feeling inside. It is like locking myself inside a cell full of hungry beasts, and throwing out the key. But I would prefer it this way. I prefer this than to see just a hint of sorrow on the eyes of those I love.

I am fully aware that they get hurt when they see me hurt. That is why I keep picking up that mask, even though it scars me more every time I put it on. That is why I keep motivating myself to do this, to be the person that would make those I truly treasure genuinely happy.

Will I ever learn to make that mask become a part of me, and not just my second skin? Will I ever learn to be truly happy and not just make it my escape? Will I ever learn to achieve the state of being I want to be in?

Maybe it will take long, maybe it won't even happen. Maybe as I try, I’ll lose myself even more. Maybe it will be the greatest mistake I make. But then, while I find the answers to these questions, I would force myself to wake everyday and learn to pick up that mask and wear it, with as little hesitation as possible.