MY STUPID SELF

UNEDITED SAMPLE LITERARY ARTICLE
By Karez Amparo Martin
IV - Michael Faraday


I have known that it was wrong right from the start. We aren’t really meant for each other. When things suddenly changed from bad to worse, I figured out that he was just really meant to stay in my dreams and in my dreams alone. I guess it is my fault all along, for I believed that falling stars can somehow make wishes come true. Stupid falling star.

I never told him how I really felt for him. Maybe it was my instincts, for I was aware of the fact that he was just playing with me then. So I played along with him. And I did not notice that I was enjoying the game too much. I was already beyond my limits. My heart was not able to comply with what my instincts were telling me. I knew I have lost already. He won, he knocked me out. Stupid heart.

Back then, I was always anxious to sleep since he always visits me in my dreams. I was always smiling whenever I close my eyes at night, knowing that I will soon see him in my illusions. And when I wake up to the sun, I cannot explain the elation I feel in my heart. This emotion I have for him became inevitable. I lost the ability to retain whatever control I had before. My dreams made my feelings for him stronger than ever. Stupid dreams.

Now, he turns every night of my life into a nightmare. I always find tears in my eyes whenever I wake up to the gloomy sun. Just thinking of him makes me feel so haunted. I cannot believe that I fell for all of his lies. He left me all alone, and he made me feel so helpless. I thought he cared for me; I thought he loved me. But I thought wrong. And that’s what makes me the stupidest of all.