UNDYING

UNEDITED SAMPLE LITERARY ARTICLE
By Samantha Grace Ignacio Cruz
II - Robert Hooke


They say that first love never dies. In truth, does love, in any form, really die? In my perspective, love is an eternal thing. It only fades as the hands of time slowly tick away. But never does it die, at least for me.

I for one have experienced loving and losing. I know that when I love there is no reassurance of forever. I know that once I give my love to someone else, there is a possibility he won’t love me back. I know that when I love, it might be the greatest mistake that I will ever make. It might become my greatest downfall. And yet, despite these things, I still love. And yes, I do lose.

I remember that night. I wiped the tears as they burst out uncontrollably. I weakened as he said those words. I buried my face as he walked away, never looking back. I remember that bitter night, the night I loved so much. That night I experienced a great loss.

Then, everything started to weigh down on me. I remembered those happy days we shared. All the reasons and all the pain I had to endure to love him. None of that mattered anymore. Everything turned pitch black. I couldn’t see how it happened, because it happened all too quickly. I couldn’t see any other purpose he had but to inflict on me a pain that was so unbearable. Why though? I thought we were beyond all trivial reasons. But try as I might, I could not understand. I chose not to see why he picked that path, because it just might hurt me more. All that mattered was that I was in that state, alone and afraid.

It is hard to recover once we fall so deep. It is hard to see clearly once our eyes are blurred with tears. And so I stayed that way for days. I lie awake at night doing nothing but think about him.

And so time passed, I thought better and started to lift myself up from that horrible state. To my dismay, I found out that it was hard. It was painful to move on, because doing so would just make his absence more real. As much as I would like to wake up from that horrible nightmare, I couldn’t. It came crashing down on me mercilessly, and I kept on falling back.

I just had to face the fact that it was final. It was inevitable. I had to move on with my life if I didn’t want it to ruin me. And so as time passed by, the pain slowly faded away. The tears I cried lessened as I learned the new strength inside of me. It was all I had to hold on to to keep my life on track.

I thought about him less everyday. I buried the memories I had of him in the ground. I made a promise to myself that I would get over this. I knew that many people get their hearts broken, so I am not alone in this. I knew better than to sulk and get myself into a pitiful state.

With the help of those around me, I grew stronger. I soon forgot about the feelings I once had for him. Thinking about him didn’t cause me much pain as it did before. I grew numb to the pain. The next thing I knew, I was smiling again, and it wasn’t as hard for me as before.

I do not regret the love that we once shared. I do not hate him, nor do I feel any anger towards him. I know now that if not for him, I wouldn’t be as strong as I am now. I also thank him, because the pain that I endured made me change into something more than what I was.

But do I still love him? Yes, I do. It is not as strong as before, sure, but I still feel it inside me. It is still here in my heart, though it faded through time. It is something I will never forget nor regret despite the pain it caused me. It is something that will never truly die.