A PASSION SLOWLY DRIFTING AWAY

UNEDITED SAMPLE LITERARY ARTICLE
By Vicson Aypa Mabanglo
IV - Isaac Newton


I never thought this passion would slowly drift away from reality as facile like this. I don’t have any valid reasons, either, for letting this thing pass. All I know is, I just woke up one day realizing that I guess I had given much attention on my passion – I, feeling worthless. As I earnestly stay at my room looking at them, I reminisce the copious and priceless time we shared.

I received my first guitar and my passion for it on a cold afternoon of July when I was in my first year of high school. My parents bought it for me as a recreational tool and, clearly, as a tool for me to develop my self-confidence. At first, I thought, I won’t learn playing it. I even thought of giving up and just letting the guitar decline and age on the corner of my room. Until such time that I again was enticed by the soothing and alluring sound a guitar can produce. I tried my best to learn every basic chord I can learn. I tried my best to learn at least a new song every other day. I tried my best to, at least, gain confidence on learning to play it – hindering me to give up easily. A third year band even invited me when I was in first year of course I grabbed the opportunity. As my first year in high school ended smoothly, I can say that I have learned a part of a true guitar player. I have learned to play by my heart and feel every song I play. I have learned to value every song I hear for I know a gifted artist made it. I, on a part, became a true guitar player.

Days passed by, summer passed by and another school year came. A new guitar entered my daily scene. This time, an electric guitar was given to me. I continued the learning process of gaining the ingenuity of playing the guitar. I continued playing by heart and tried to share my newly gained talent. I, together with my friends, decided to form a band. We joined the annual battle of the bands in the school. During this time, I received an award, which really shocked my whole being – I did not expect it at all. From here, I tried my best to learn more about it. I tried my best to gain more knowledge and techniques in playing my passion. From here, I tried my best to give everything I can in developing my talent and my friends’ talents.

A year passed by again. I developed more techniques together with my friends. I continued playing the guitar by heart. And from this time, I guess, I can consider myself as one of the best musicians in our batch. I continued valuing songs together with my friends. We continued to play the music we’ve shared. We enjoyed the passion we shared. The days before the annual battle of the bands is again near. I, disappointedly, became pressured for I want to earn and dominate again the music scene of the school – I guess, no one can’t blame me for that for any one will feel pressured during that time. I really hate reminiscing this childish and ingenuous personality of mine during that time. I should have not been pressured. Until a day of frustration came, I became too much focused on becoming one of the awardees again. I became desperate. I tried to practice an unusual thing. I tried to practice a trick. A desperate guitar swing to at least amaze thee judges on the event. Where in, you will swing the guitar across your body letting it revolve clockwise or even harder, counter-clockwise. I tried it, and a moment came when my guitar flew into the air. I then heard a smashing sound. A sound a loving guitar player would cry for when he hears, a sound of a crashing guitar. A thing that I guess ruined my passion. I am really disappointed of myself up to this point of time. I am still thinking and asking myself why did I do it and why didn’t I remain simple and humble. I was a failure. Honestly, I cried the same night and I regret what I’ve done. My electric guitar now has a broken neck caused by my regretful action. The day of the event came. I borrowed the guitar of my friend and asked him permission if I can use it for my trick – though I saw what might happen to his. I told him the whole incident and he still allowed me. I again, childish, used a duct tape this time to secure his guitar when I do the trick. I put the tape around the straps. Honestly, during this time, I don’t want to do this guitar trick anymore, but I planned to do it to at least give tribute to my broken guitar. I want to at least do the trick that broke my guitar – even though I know the consequence of breaking and paying for my friend’s guitar when everything goes wrong again – for me not to feel guilty anymore. That way, I know I have given justice to my broken guitar due to my childish desperate action. I tried it. I tried it successfully during the event. My friend’s guitar didn’t flew into the air hence it has given me peace. It has given me peace in a way that I have done something and have given justice, at least, to my guitar. I received an award again that night, but not happily, for I know that I lost a part of myself. I lost my passion. I lost the passion of playing the right way. I lost my love in playing songs. I lost a part of me. I lost something that will surely be hard to regain again. I regret my actions. From then on, I did not try to hold a guitar again, mainly because I am still guilty.

As I look on my two guitars every now and then, one acoustic string-less guitar and one broken electric guitar, I still feel the guilt. I don’t know how to get back my confidence in holding and playing it again. I don’t know how to forget everything and just start playing again. I don’t know how to regain everything. As I look at them, tears run down my face. I shouldn’t have lost my passion just like that. I wiped my tears and held both of my guitars. I wonder when will I regain my passion. But one thing is for sure; I’ll not let it drift away just like that. I’ll not let my passion drift away. My guitars, my passion, wait a little bit more. I’ll be back as soon as I can.