JUST ONCE

UNEDITED SAMPLE LITERARY ARTICLE
By Rachel Mae Joan Naluis Sansolis
IV - Isaac Newton


Maybe someday, I’ll learn how to give up and to let go. But for now, I still can’t do so. Even in the hardest part of my life, I didn’t imagine of making a distance, getting farther and farther away from you. It seems like there is always a magnet which pulls me over. Why can’t I stop thinking? Why can’t I stop loving?

I’ll close my eyes and from this moment on, I’ll make sure of my every step. Though it is really hard to find a way closer to your heart, I still wish I could fulfill all your needs. Not that mother- type, rather, the one who would give you love, happiness and care, always. I wish I was the girl in your dreams. And as I suppose all these things, I feel the presence of imbecility. The vivid feeling of uncertainty suddenly crept up into my system. I was shocked for the moment I opened my eyes, a huge question blocked up my mind, Why did I think of such things? I should have not imagined. I felt like crying without someone to wipe my tears off. My dreams shattered into pieces as if they would never be whole again.

You were once a spy because everything I know, everything I hear, you know, you hear. You were once my shield as you fight for what you believe is right for me. You once brought extreme happiness into my life. You were once at the top of it. And I realized, all of those were meant to happen just for once. Now, I can’t find you anymore. I can’t feel what I felt before. I can’t see how you are right now and after all, I have figure out that everything happened just for one reason, and that is, for me to learn and to accept that not all are persisting. It can only happen once, not twice nor thrice.

I remembered all the things we’ve shared. I enjoyed your company and I thank you for coming. I would always treasure our friendship and all the days that we have gone through even though it all started with a never meant appealing joke, ‘I like you”. My tears abruptly fell and followed the path you traveled. I can’t see them falling but I can feel them coming. I can’t help but to think why you left me this way. I can’t blame anyone else because you are the only one who could raise me up again.

Unexpected, at a glance outside the windows, I saw someone, standing all alone, looking up to the sky. I thought it was you visiting so I excitedly opened the door. But as I do so, I didn’t find you waiting. I thought it was you but it seemed like you would never do that again for me. No more. And so I knew that all these things did never exist. They are all illusions. You would not do that, anyway. I know I am not that special. Perhaps, I came up to that idea because I cannot escape from my deep longing. I miss you a lot and now, I beg you to come back.